Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
