the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
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