if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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