Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
