Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
