rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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