Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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