Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
