Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
