So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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