Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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