her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
