perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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