you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize