In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
