the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
