Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
