Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
