She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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