I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My ass is underappreciated
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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