wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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