in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
