I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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