The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize