where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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