What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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