your thong is hanging out like whoa
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
