I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
