I cannot find my penis.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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