I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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