how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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