When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
