Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
