You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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