jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think I won the penis lottery.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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