4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
