hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
