end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
