Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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