i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize