Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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