why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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