Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
