Having a random hookup so left but love u
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you would pick up someone in the library
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize