My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he was CRYING into my vagina
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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