Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
