i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
