you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
