I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
