just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
