Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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