i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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