I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
