Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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