So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
