i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
