Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
