Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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