happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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