i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
