How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
