so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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