i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
