There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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