he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
