i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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