I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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