He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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