No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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