just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
